6 Eylül 2019 Cuma

LEADERSHIP AND NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

The biggest obstacle in being a “leader” is that we think ourselves as being fixed. We all have a say about ourselves such as “I am shy”, “I am sociable”, “I am easy-going, I am…”

Portakalın Bilgeliği

Moreover, we also label others, “she is from that college, thus she must be arrogant”. However, we are NOT fixed. We have endless possibilities to choose, somehow we forget them. Sometimes, even in movies, we see characters so coward, but takes one bold action and changes the whole course of the events.

Where does this come from if he were just to be “shy”? From the infinite possibilities each one of us have. We all have a say who we can be, in what areas of life we are to a take a stand, in other words to be a “leader”!!! Then why do we believe the opposite to be the case?

Mainly from the so-called reality in the world. We were taught to do, told to be, since the beginning of childhood from our parents. Mostly “in a negative manner and a negative way.” “Don’t do this, don’t be that…” What is more, majority of the education systems throughout the world support and take this to a further level.

Well, how do we come over this annoying fact? One thing should be not to listen to our self-talk. Have you noticed there, there is a little voice in your head talking to you all the time wherever you go and whatever you do. If you say, what voice to yourself, hello, welcome, this is the voice I am talking about right now. Some experts say this is the voice of the first authority in the house, some say this is the voice created to be able to have an identity in the world, to have some kind of certainty, basically to survive. Whatever the reason, if the voice serves you, simply keep it.

However, most of us have a negative talk. One of my Londoner friends used the metaphor that I like very much “Şeyda, my voice is like the back streets of Beyoğlu; dark, naughty and complicated”. Well-known author Eckhart Tolle states, “We are all a bit crazy, the only thing we don’t speak to ourselves in public but keep it to ourselves”.

MEDITATION

You must have recognized the cute Kermit in the photo above. Usually inner-talks of us are not that pretty and charming as little green frog. Could we be as still as the big wooden frog in the picture and let Kermit do the talk and not be affected by it?

One thing to break this vicious cycle is to meditate. Simply focus on your breath and allow your ideas flow in front of you, as clouds in the sky. Let your thoughts be whatever they are. If you let them just “be”, they will be pacified. If you see yourself judging or reacting in any way, it means you are in your thoughts and with the voice. In other words, don’t travel with the clouds. Then stop and again, without any internal comments, allow yourself watch your thoughts kindly and beware of them.

Eventually you will see that you have the ability to choose from your ideas not that the ideas pick you. Hence, you will discover the freedom not to listen to the voice.

Interestingly, if you practice regularly enough, the voice will become more and more silent in time. Enjoy :)

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